Holy Cow!! This is Good!!

Old Sermon by John Wesley

 

 

 

Without holiness no man shall see the Lord." Nothing under heaven can be more sure than this; "for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it." And "though heaven and earth pass away, yet His word shall not pass away." As well therefore might God fall from heaven, as His Word fall to the ground. (Heb. 12:14; Mic. 4:4; Matt. 5:18).

 

No one who is not saved from sin here can be saved from hell hereafter. No one can see the kingdom of God above, unless the kingdom of God be in him below. Whoever will reign with Christ in heaven, must have Christ reigning in him on earth. And yet as sure as this is, and as clearly as it is taught in every part of the Holy Scripture, among all the truths of God, there is probably none which is less received by men.

 

Yes, professing Christians invariably invent one way or another to get to heaven without holiness. In the place of holiness, some have substituted penance, pilgrimages, and praying to saints and angels. Thousand of professing Christians have no doubt but that, by a diligent use of these things-without any holiness at all-they shall see the Lord in glory.

 

However, Protestants will not be satisfied in that manner. They are convinced that whoever leans on such things leans on the staff of a broken reed. Yet, thousands of such Protestants also think that they too will see God without holiness. How? Why, by doing no harm, generally doing good, going to church, and receiving the sacraments. And many thousands are content with this, believing they are on the high road to heaven. Yet, that is not much better than the hopes of the first group.

 

However, other Protestants recognize that such nominal Christianity is not sufficient. They correctly say that such a religion does not stand on the right foundation. However, they go on to say that Christ has already accomplished and suffered everything for us. They say that His righteousness is imputed to us; therefore, we need none of our own. Since there is so much righteousness and holiness in Him, there needs to be none in us. In fact, they claim, that to think we have any holiness, or to desire to seek any holiness, is to renounce Christ. That from the beginning to the end of salvation, all is in Christ, nothing is in man. And that those who teach otherwise are preachers of legalism, and know nothing of the gospel.

 

What evasion! What has Satan done? He has persuaded the very men who receive it to "turn the grace of God into licentiousness" (Jude 4). This is indeed a blow at the root, the root of all holiness, all true religion. The whole design of Christ's death was "to destroy the works of the devil" (I John 3:8). But now this is overthrown in one stroke.

 

THE FRUITS OF CHEAP GRACE

 

For wherever this doctrine of easy grace is received, it leaves no place for holiness. It forbids all such exhortations as might excite a desire for holiness. Nay, it makes men afraid of personal holiness, afraid of cherishing any thought of it. For they fear that any step toward holiness might be a denial of the faith, and a rejection of Christ and His righteousness. So that, instead of being "zealous for good works," good works are a stench to their nostrils. In short, they are infinitely more afraid of the works of God, that the works of the devil.

 

Here is Satan's masterpiece! We are to believe that men are holy, without a grain of holiness in them! Holy in Christ, however unholy in themselves. They are supposedly in Christ, although they have not one jot of the mind that was in Christ. They are "complete in Him," although they are as proud, as vain, as covetous, and as lustful as ever. They think they can continue in unrighteousness because Christ has "fulfilled all righteousness."

 

O ye simple one, do not be deceived. For as surely as the Lord lives, "neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." "Such" indeed "were some of you. But you are washed, but you are sanctified," as well as "justified, in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God" (1 Cor. 6:9-11). You are really changed! You are not only accounted as righteous, you are made righteous.

 

The inward power of the Spirit has made you free-really, actually free-from the law or power "of sin and death" (Rom. 8:2). This is liberty, true gospel liberty, experienced by every true believer. This is not freedom from the law of God, or the works of God, but from the law of sin and the works of the devil. See that you stand fast in this real, not imaginary, liberty. Take heed that you "be not entangled again," by means of these vain boasters, "in the yoke of" that vile "bondage of sin," from which you have cleanly escaped. (Gal. 5:1).

 

I testify unto you, that if you still continue in sin, Christ shall profit you nothing. That Christ is no Savior to you, unless He saves you from your sins. And that unless it purifies your heart, faith shall profit you nothing. Oh, when will you understand, that to oppose either inward or outward holiness, under color of exalting Christ, is directly to act the part of Judas, to "betray the Son of man with a kiss?"

 

What? Make Christ destroy His own kingdom? Set Christ against holiness? Talk of Christ as saving His people in their sins? It is no better than to say, He saves them from the guilt, but not from the power, of sin. Will you make the righteousness of Christ a cover for the unrighteousness of man? So that by this means, "the unrighteous" of every kind "shall inherit the kingdom of God!" Stop! Consider! What are you doing? Who has corrupted you from the simplicity of Christ, from the purity of the gospel?

 

You did know, "He that believeth is born of God: And whosoever is born of God sinneth not" (1 John 3:9). O come back to the true, the pure, the old gospel! That which you received in the beginning. Come back to Christ, who died to make you a holy people, "zealous for good works" (Tit. 2:14). "Remember from whence you are fallen, and repent, and do the first works" (Rev. 2:5). For "wilt thou know, O vain," O empty "man, that faith without works is dead" (Jas. 2:17)?

 

Do not stupidly and senselessly call holiness legalism-a silly, meaningless word. Be not afraid of being under the law of God. Rather, fear being under "the law of sin" (Rom. 7:23). Love the strictest preaching best. That which most searches the heart, and shows you wherein you are unlike Christ. That which presses you most to love Him with all your heart, and serve Him with all your strength.

 

Permit me to warn you of another silly, meaningless phrase: Do not say: "I can do nothing." If so, then you know nothing of Christ. Then you have no faith. For if you have faith, if you believe, then you "can do all things through Christ who strengthens you" (Phil. 4:13). You can love Him and keep His commandments; and to you His "commandments are not grievous" (1 John 5:3). Grievous to them that believe? Far from it! They are the joy of your heart.

 

Show then your love for Christ by keeping His commandments, by blamelessly walking in all His ordinances. Honor Christ by obeying Him with all your might, by serving Him with all your strength. Glorify Christ by imitating Christ in all things, by walking as He walked. Trust in Christ to live and reign in your heart. Have confidence in Christ that He will fulfill in you all his great and precious promises. That He will work in you all the good pleasure of His goodness, and all the work of faith with power. Cleave to Christ, until His blood has cleansed you from all pride, all anger, all evil desire. Let Christ do all. Let Him who has done all for you, do all in you.

 

Exalt Christ as a Prince to give repentance. A Savior both to give remission of sins, and to create in you a new heart, to renew a right spirit within you. This is the gospel, the pure, genuine gospel; glad tidings of great salvation. Not the new, but the old-the everlasting gospel.

 

***************

 

John Wesley

England

18th century

Posted via email from jessebirkey's posterous

READ THIS AFTER YOU READ THE "DENNIS CRAMMER WORD FOR 2011" I POSTED PREVIOUSLY!!!

PROPHETIC MOVEMENT in AN UPROAR - Please Forward
> -Andrew Strom.
>
> Earlier this week we published big chunks of Dennis Cramer's
> "Word for 2011" in which he basically tears into a lot of the flakey
> and dangerous "New Age"-type practices found in today's
> Prophetic movement. Well, to my great amazement, I found that
> the Elijah List had actually published Cramer's piece as well! And
> it caused such a storm that they had to remove it after just one
> day - for "clarification"! But then they re-published it - only slightly
> changed!
>
> For those who don't know, the Elijah List is the main email List
> for the Prophetic movement - publishing the likes of Todd Bentley,
> Patricia King, Rick Joyner, Bob Jones, etc. It also sells mounds
> of their books and CD's. For the Elijah List to publish something
> that basically refutes all the "Spirit Travel" and "Third Heaven
> Visitation" stuff is simply unbelievable. It would almost be like
> the Pope refuting the veneration of Mary!
>
> I don't know what the Elijah List was thinking, but I'm sure glad
> they did it. Now maybe there's a chance that some of their readers
> will get out from under those dangerous deceptions.
>
> But I am left a bit dazed by it all - because the very ones who
> have been advocating "spirit travel AT WILL" and "Trance dancing"
> and 'Third Heaven visits AT WILL' are the very ministries that the
> Elijah List has been promoting all these years!
>
> Here is what the Elijah List founder Steve Schultz wrote after they
> pulled the first article when it caused such a storm-
> "Dear Elijah List Readers, There was a huge number of people
> who were unclear on a few issues with Dennis Cramer’s word...
> The most controversial aspect was the “AT WILL” issue. Apparently,
> there are some out and about who are teaching that you can
> transport or go to Heaven “AT WILL” – i.e. whenever you want. This
> is truly not taught in Scripture. The word “Doctrine” is another word
> for “teaching.” It’s an untrue teaching that anytime you want, you
> can go to Heaven or be transported... As soon as Dennis Cramer
> sends us a more in-depth explanation of the items he listed, we
> plan to repost my friend’s word."
>
> ANDREW AGAIN: Steve - I'm so glad you wrote this, but do you
> truly realize what you are saying? Don't you know that Bob Jones
> and Todd Bentley and Patricia King, etc, are the VERY BIGGEST
> promoters of all this "AT WILL" deception that you are talking about?
> Patricia King even has a whole movement of "Ekstasis" Trance
> dancing! These guys have entire reams of teaching on how to
> "visualize" your way into the Third Heaven 'AT WILL'. They have
> been promoting it for years. Surely you know this? That's why
> your readers are so upset. Dennis Cramer is finally exposing and
> rebuking this stuff as the 'New Age' heresy that it really is.
>
> On January 15, Elijah List reposted the "re-clarified" word from
> Dennis Cramer on their website. It was a little softer in places,
> but still it said the following very clearly:
> "One cannot go to Heaven like Paul or be transported physically
> like Phillip simply because they want to or because they feel like
> it (at will). Teachings like this often crossover into dangerous
> methods and techniques that resemble New Age, Mysticism,
> Spiritism or other occult manipulative practices. A Believer cannot
> and must not force, manipulate, or otherwise attempt to reproduce
> a sovereign supernatural Bible experience by merely following a
> method, a series of steps, or worst of all “willing it” to happen."
>
> In the same re-posted word, Dennis Cramer went on to say-
>
> "• Open Heaven/Spiritual Portals = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Third Heaven Experiences At Will = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Going to Heaven At Will to Get Your Gifts = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Transporting Physically At Will = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Over-Emphasis on Angels and Specifically Arc-Angels = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Going into Trances At Will = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Trance Dancing = BAD DOCTRINE
> • Hyper-Grace: Christians Do Not Need to Repent of Sin = BAD DOCTRINE"
>
> Well - there goes the Prophetic movement!!
> Seriously - I cannot believe they posted this on the Elijah List!
> Steve - This is exactly all the stuff your followers have gotten into!
> Most of the guys you promote - these are the exact 'New Age'-type
> practices that they teach! Surely you know this?
>
> So now, to finish this article, I need some "clarification" from Steve
> Schultz. I am very encouraged by this apparent change of heart,
> Steve, but I need to know if you will now CEASE forthwith any and
> all publication of the materials and teachings of these people - until
> they publicly repent and apologize for this 'New Age' heresy. And
> I need to know if you - Steve Schultz - will now publicly renounce
> the promotion of these deceptive preachers around the world. (Sorry
> to be so blunt about it, but we really need to hear this from you).
> I am so glad that you published Cramer's piece. But now we really
> need to know where Elijah List stands - and whether things have
> truly changed or not. We look forward to your reply.
>
> And I ask everyone reading this to please forward it to your
> Charismatic friends. People need to know that this stuff is finally
> being declared as "BAD DOCTRINE" - even by the Elijah List itself.
> Please let everyone know, so this deception can be stopped. You
> would be amazed how widespread it is.
>
> -You can comment on this article at the following website-
>
> http://www.johnthebaptisttv.com/
>
> God bless you all.
>
> -Andrew Strom.

Posted via email from jessebirkey's posterous

READ THIS!! VERY IMPORTANT!!!!

DENNIS CRAMER in his "WORD FOR 2011

What exactly is meant by the phrase “at will”?... 
“At will” means a believer makes a decision, on his own, to initiate
> or attempt to duplicate a particular sovereign, supernatural
> experience. The individual wants a particular supernatural
> experience to happen so badly, he will do anything, (within his
> power), to make it happen – to force it, to duplicate or copy it,
> whether or not it is God’s sovereign will. Rather, a believer should
> allow God to SOVEREIGNLY cause it to happen at His chosen
> time, as we see recorded in all similar bible examples.
>
> When a believer unwisely exercises his (soulish) human will,
> outside of or in conflict with the sovereign will of God, (anything
> contrary to the written word of God, the Bible), he is producing a
> seemingly supernatural (source unclear) experience, from his own
> will or “at will”. This is the meaning of “at will.” “At will” is self-will,
> and self-will can be sinful, and can lead to all kinds of spiritual deception
> and questionable practices.
>
> The question of supernatural sovereign experiences “at will”
>
> Do I believe in third heaven experiences? Absolutely, I do. The
> Bible supports such sovereign experiences as in the example of
> Paul in II Cor.12. Do I believe in being physically transported?
> Absolutely, I do! By a sovereign act of God, Phillip was physically
> transported (Acts 8) from one location to another. So if it’s in the
> Bible I believe it! I believe it all! Amen!
>
> However, there is a HUGE difference between God willing you to
> have a certain sovereign bible experience, (like Paul or Phillip) as
> opposed to you willing it, or trying to make it happen, to duplicate
> it through mere human effort or merely through the exercising of
> your human or soulish will, in other words, “at will.” These Bible
> experiences were 100% sovereign. They did not happen because
> these individuals willed them into existence or willed them to
> happen. God and God alone initiated them – He and He alone
> willed them. This is the very nature of a sovereign experience: God
> makes it happen when He wants, where he wants, and with whom
> He wants. Period! And they usually happened when the candidates
> or recipients least expected it. Why? Because these were
> sovereign events, not planned or initiated by man, but by God.
>
> When discussing a sovereign experience there is a big difference
> between initiating versus cooperating. God INITIATES all sovereign
> experiences, the believer COOPERATES with them. Mix the two,
> crisscross them, and this can lead to some real doctrinal
> confusion and counter-productive measures.
>
> It’s all about God’s sovereignty…
>
> The critical issue with operating in the supernatural is: who is
> initiating what or who is “willing” what? Teaching believers that by
> following certain steps, teachings, formulas, and/or merely
> exercising their own human wills, they can duplicate any sovereign
> supernatural experience is dangerous and unscriptural.
>
> One cannot go to heaven like Paul or be transported physically
> like Phillip simply because they want to, or because they feel like
> it, (at will). Teachings like this often cross over into dangerous
> methods and techniques that resemble new age, mysticism,
> spiritism or other occult manipulative practices. A believer cannot
> and must not force, manipulate, or otherwise attempt to reproduce
> a sovereign supernatural Bible experience by merely following a
> method, a series of steps, or worst of all “willing it” to happen.
>
> Whether we are discussing being translated in the spirit or
> transported physically, or any supernatural sovereign experience
> we read about in the Bible, the critical difference between whether
> it is God or not is who “willed” it to happen: Was it you or was it
> God? If you willed it to happen, it ceases to be a sovereign, God
> ordained, supernatural, Bible experience, and you risk
> experiencing a counterfeit.
>
> It Is Time To Dust Off Your Bible!...
>
> There is now wide-spread acceptance of “marginal to heretical”
> doctrines. Just 25 years ago individuals would have been thrown
> out of the church if caught teaching these heresies. How did this
> happen? Simply, we have become biblically ignorant. We have
> not been diligent to feed on the unadulterated Word of God. We
> are at best malnourished and in some cases starving to death.
> Biblical ignorance is on the increase in the church, even to
> epidemic levels! Like any form of “lack” created by ignorance
> which can lead to sickness, only the proper “intake” or in these
> cases, only proper biblical education can remedy it.
>
> “Warning: We live in an age of “anything goes” theology! The
> charismatic church is in big trouble!”...
>
> There is a growing trend towards some really bad doctrine out
> there. And we, the church, must put a stop to it! If we don’t, no
> one else will! The church must begin to police herself against
> unorthodox (false) teaching and bizarre practices. You must
> reacquaint yourself with the scriptures and know your Bible.
>
> “In 40 years of serving God, I have not heard so much bad doctrine
> preached from so-called ‘bible believing’ Christians – specifically
> charismatic Christians.”...
>
> We must pray for a “Berean Revival” in the church – a revival which
> returns us all to our roots – our roots in the Word of God. In the
> Bible, the original Bereans were believers who “searched the
> scriptures daily to find out whether these things be so”. There is a
> lot of doctrine currently in circulation in the charismatic church
> that is highly questionable – even heretical. Each believer must
> begin to “search the scriptures” for himself to discover whether
> what he is believing is biblical or not (Acts 17:11). Stop
> unequivocally trusting ministers and their pulpits to always and
> completely preach the truth – some do, some do not. You need
> to search and know the scriptures for yourself. If their teachings
> sound too good to be true – they very well may be! Know your
> bible... My prophetic word to all Pastors/ Teachers for 2011 is
> simple: “Preach the Word!” Know your bible.
>
> Some examples of current doctrine circulating in the church: You
> must believe me that I am NOT making this stuff up!
>
> DOCTRINES of CONCERN...
>
> • THIRD HEAVEN EXPERIENCES At WILL...
>
> • GOING TO HEAVEN AT WILL to GET YOUR GIFTS:... There
> is no biblical record of any believer having to go to heaven to get
> any gift. This is a totally unnecessary spiritual exercise. The three
> listings of gifts in Romans, I Cor., and Ephesians have all been in
> the church for over two thousand years. They are not in heaven, so
> why go there to get them? The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have
> each deposited Their respective gifts in the church here on earth.
> For 2000 years, Christians have been receiving here ON EARTH
> from this great deposit of gifts. “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be
> done, ON EARTH, as it is in heaven.” Amen!
>
> • CLOUD of WITNESSES / DEAD SAINTS: Teaches that
> Christians should expect the intervention of dead saints in our
> daily lives. This entire deception is based on a terribly
> irresponsible interpretation of a single obscure verse in Hebrews
> 12:1. We do not need dead saints intervening in our lives. We have
> Jesus as our Mediator, the ONLY mediator we need between God
> and man (I Tim.2:5) and He is not dead. He is alive! Necromancy,
> that is, communication with the dead, (any dead) is forbidden in
> scripture.
>
> • TRAVELING in TIME AT WILL: I have been unable to find this
> in the bible. Let alone doing it “at will.”
>
> • TRANSPORTING PHYSICALLY At WILL...
>
> • OVER EMPHASIS on ANGELS: Yes, they are real. But an
> angelic visitation is a rare and precious event. Most Christians will
> never have an encounter with one. And it is extremely unlikely that
> a Christian will be visited by an archangel. Michael and Gabriel
> were given specific, significant, world changing tasks in the
> scriptures. It is likely that they have more important things to do
> than to drop by your house for a visit!
>
> • GOING into TRANCES AT WILL...
>
> • TRANCE DANCING: I have been unable to find this in the bible...
>
> Seducing Spirits! (ITim.4:1-4) There has been loosed on the church
> for 2000 years a literal army of demons who sole task is to deceive
> the church! Unfortunately, these deceiving, seducing, spirits are
> enjoying some of their most successful efforts. Why? The average
> believer does not know his bible. The bible is absolute truth, forever
> settled in heaven. It is our sword of the Spirit – two edged and
> deadly. To be bible ignorant is to have no offensive weapon against
> our enemy Satan. Our ONLY defense against our enemy is a proven
> offense. And our proven offense against this hoard of demons is
> the written Word of God, the bible. Jesus wielded this same written
> word-sword against Satan in the wilderness with great results. So
> should you! I hear the church saying again, “DEVIL, IT IS WRITTEN!”
> It does not matter what you think, feel, sense, or even believe. It
> does not matter what experience you claim to have had, or how
> many trips to heaven you claim to have made, or how many angels
> you claim to know on a first name basis. The only thing that matters
> is what God said in His Word. Know your bible...

- Dennis Cramer.

Posted via email from jessebirkey's posterous

Give Me Intimacy

Give Me Intimacy

 

            Our marriages today are crying out for intimacy.  Why?  Because so many of us are intimacy starved.  This is a huge problem because we all have a driving desire to be intimate with someone.  This is ironic because while we all say we want to be intimate with our spouses; few of us really want it at all. 

            We should probably define “intimacy”.  There are many thoughts out there of what intimacy should look like and I’m sure you have your own picture.  Here is mine:  Intimacy in a marriage relationship is being completely laid bare before your spouse. It is the ability to “be” with your spouse just as you are. It is the ability to share your hopes and fears and every emotion that you have at any time. Being able to just lay there with your spouse in bed and not even have to say anything but just being together. Not just showing superficial emotion; for example, when you smash your finger with a hammer, you show the anger emotion. That is a superficial emotion. Intimate emotions I would classify as emotions that come from who you really are.  Real emotional intimacy is willingly making yourself vulnerable.  That is definitely a risk not many are willing to take, even with their spouses.

            To have real intimacy we must be willing to share intimate emotions.  But what are they?  Let’s use an example of a hypothetical conflict. My wife comes to me and says that she is going out with her friends on a night that we were supposed to spend together. So she does, and I am upset. She comes back home, and I tell her that she hurt me. I tell her that she hurt me because we were supposed to spend the night together and I was looking forward to it. She apologizes, and we kiss and make up with a plan to spend the next night together. This is good, right? This is how we have been taught to deal with hurt and pain. Heck, most of us do not even do this. Most of us who can make it to that point give ourselves a pat on the back for being such good communicators and addressing problems as they arise.

            However, is this enough, or is there a much deeper level of emotion that you are protecting by stopping at “you hurt me”? What about addressing the reason why it hurt you? We did that by saying that we were looking forward to spending time with them, right? What about addressing the real reason that it hurt you and why it hurt so badly? Why don’t you address the fact that deep down you have judged that you are a bad husband/wife, a bad person, unattractive, and that you are lucky to have your spouse? What you are really hearing when your spouse says that he/she wants to spend some time with someone else is that you are a bad husband/wife, ugly, not fun to be around, a bad person, and that he/she might want to leave you for someone better. So your spouse has just reinforced what you already believe about yourself, and you hear rejection and feel the weight of rejection. The emotions that come from your inner being that are directly related to what your impression of yourself is are intimate emotions. That is intimacy.

            Do you want this level of intimacy?  Your gut reaction is probably “No”.  Why is that?  The answer is “fear”.  We have all been rejected many times in our lives.  Nobody has been spared from the pain of not being accepted by someone or something.  So we protect ourselves by guarding our most vulnerable place; our intimate emotions or, you might say our hearts.  This makes true intimacy unacceptable to us.  We fear the rejection that could come as we expose ourselves. 

            But why is fear crippling us and our marriages?  Fear is ruling you because within you is a separation or a block to the perfect love of God.  1^st John 4:18 says that “Perfect love casts out fear.  Those who fear have not been made perfect in love.”  When we have been made whole by the perfect love of God, we can be emotionally intimate with our spouses without fear because we know that we are accepted and loved by God. 

            If you are being ruled by fear I encourage you to ask God what the block to His love is inside of you.  Listen to Him tell you what it is and how to be free.  God bless!

Jesse Birkey

Author of “Marriage What’s The Point?”        

Posted via email from jessebirkey's posterous

I Don’t Want To Be Lonely Anymore

I Don’t Want To Be Lonely Anymore

            We all have the desire to find someone special that we can share our life with. We want someone to be able to talk to when we are excited and to brag to when something great happens to us. We really want to do those things with someone that we know cares about us and gets excited with us.  Why?

            The answer to that question is that we are afraid of being alone. I think most of us know that place (loneliness), and we will do anything to keep from going back there. For some of you the fear of being alone is so great and overwhelming that it’s the only reason you decided to get married.

            There is depression in being alone. Two things that are usually stated together are “alone and depressed.” The fear of being alone has made its way into songs. Artist Al Green wrote a song about being alone. A part of it says: “I am so tired of being alone. I am so tired of on-my-own. Won’t you help me, girl, just as soon as you can?” It’s the substance of musical lyrics. Nobody wants to be alone. It is not a fun place to be.  What’s the best way to make sure you will always have someone with you to share and be with? Let’s get married!

            So is the plan to make sure you will never be lonely again working?  If I could venture a guess I would say that for most of us that plan not only is failing but never really worked from the start.  Why is it that we get married so that we won’t be alone and end up lonelier than when we started?  Why does he/she spend time away from me?  Why can’t he/she connect emotionally with me?  Why is he/she pushing me away?  Why don’t I feel like I’m a part of his/her life?  Why won’t he/she talk to me?  How many of these questions have you asked yourself over the course of your marriage?

            It’s not hard to see the road the failed expectation “your spouse will take care of your loneliness” leads.  When we are lonely we don’t feel loved.  That is a statement that could be “unpacked” a great deal but I will leave it at that and let you reflect on it.  When we don’t feel loved we go to whatever will make us feel loved again.  What has that been for you?  Drugs, alcohol, adultery, eating, T.V., gambling and all other addictions can be the result of loneliness. 

            So whose fault is your loneliness?  This may shock you…it’s your fault, not your spouses.  Are you mad?  Let’s look at the facts.  Adam was not lonely in the Garden of Eden.  How could he have been lonely?  He walked with God in a way that no other human on this earth has since.  There was greater intimacy and fulfillment in Adams relationship with God that we won’t have until heaven.  Eve was not the answer for loneliness.  Do you disagree?  If Adam was lonely while walking with God the way he did then what hope do we have for eternity?  Do you think you are going to be lonely in Heaven?  No.  Why?  Is it because (hopefully) your spouse will be there with you?  No!  It’s because we will be with our father.

            So what was the purpose of Eve?  Well, Genesis 2 tells us that Eve was a helper.  Someone had to help Adam maintain Eden.  We could also agree that another great purpose was procreation.  There are many reasons as to why God gave Adam Eve, including the greatest purpose I have yet to discuss, but to fix loneliness was not one of them.

            Here is the truth:  Humans are not the answer for loneliness, only God is.  If you are living in loneliness I encourage you to examine your relationship with God because something is lacking.  We are to be filled, fulfilled, satisfied, comfortable, accepted, secure and intimate with our Father God even if our spouse is “detached” from us.  If that’s not true for you I encourage you to ask God why.  Ask Him how it can be true for you.  Wouldn’t you like to give God the responsibility of your loneliness and let Him take care of it rather than expect if from your spouse who will definitely fail to fulfill it many times.

Jesse Birkey

Author of “Marriage What’s The Point?”         

Posted via email from jessebirkey's posterous

Who Can I Trust?

Who Can I Trust?

            I am fairly certain that we all want someone who we can place our trust in.  The only question is “Who is that someone going to be?”  Who are you going to place your trust in?  If the answer is yourself then you are going to be frequently disappointed.  If you answer is your spouse or significant other, then you will still be frequently disappointed and face the possibility of devastation.  If your answer is God, I question you.  I question, not judge, but question because there are few who truly understand what it really means to trust in God.  This failure to understand has led to a mass population of church-goers who claim to trust in God but really have a “death-grip” on everything in their lives trying to control their whole existence. 

            Welcome to article/blog #2 in this series.  If you haven’t read #1 yet I encourage you to read it before you dive into this one. 

            I have heard the phrase “The only one we can trust is ourselves” come out of many-a-mouths and it’s laughable every time.  I’m not trying to be rude but the idea that we can trust ourselves is ridiculous.  Take a moment and consider your life.  How many times have you been proven trust worthy to yourself?  Think about all of the failures, poor decisions and all the times you have caused pain to people you love and care about.  How many times have you let yourself down?  Addiction is a classic example of how untrustworthy we are.  There is no one out there who enjoys their addictions.  Everyone tries to quit the destructive behavior but the percentages of those who are successful are very low.  Only 2.5% of smokers successfully quit every year and only 5% of alcoholics, drug addicts and compulsive gamblers successfully quit.  These are only some of the obvious addictions but there are many addictions and the failure rate is the same.  You can’t trust yourself plain and simple.  If you could then it would mean that you could overcome the kingdom of Satan by yourself without help and nullify the need for salvation.  That’s a problem for followers of Jesus. 

            Many of us enter into marriage placing our trust in our spouse’s and live out the life of the marriage with frequent disappointment and hurt.  Just think about it.  Considering how many times you have let yourself down, how in the world do you expect to be able to hold your spouse’s trust?  I’ll just let you reflect on this for yourselves.  How many times has your spouse broken trust?  How many times have they shattered your hope?  How many times has the phrase “This is the last time” turned out to be a lie?  On top of that, the 80% infidelity rate is too big to ignore and most people recognize that possibility prior to marriage, thus damaging their trust some right from the start.  How many times has your trust been damaged by lies of omission?  

            You may be recognizing by now how greatly trust has failed in your life in the people you’re supposed to know the best being your spouse and yourself.  Considering that revelation, it would be a fruitless endeavor to try and place your trust in any other relationship. 

            But what does God say?

            “Trust ye not in a friend, put ye not confidence in a guide: keep the doors of thy mouth from her that lieth in thy bosom.”  Micah 7:5 (KJV)

            If you look at the Hebrew meaning of “friend” you will see that it covers everyone.  So what is the answer?

            “Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.”  Micah 7:7 (KJV)

            We are going to talk about trust later but I want to encourage you some now.  The only one we can successfully place our trust in is God.  As that relates to us and our spouses, as we begin to allow God to transform who we are we begin to see His fruit manifested in our lives.  That is what we place our trust in.  We don’t place our trust in our spouses we place our trust in the fruit and righteousness of God reflected through our spouses as He transforms them from the inside out.  And I will leave you with a challenge.  I challenge you to ask God to teach you about transformation, intimacy and true relationship with Him every single day.  Then see what happens.  God bless.

Jesse Birkey

Author of “Marriage What’s The Point?”

www.marriagewhatsthepoint.com

Posted via email from jessebirkey's posterous